“Who am I”?

May be most ancient of question of mankind will be “Who am I”?

Vedanta is basically the teachings of the Upanishads, “Vedanta nama Upanishad pramanam”. Teaching based on Upanishads is Vedanta. Upanishads present in the highest philosophical teaching of the Vedas. Vedas are the ancient text to known to mankind! There is long list of Upanishads, in fact, in one of the Upanishad called Mukthikopanishad, it gives a list of 108 Upanishads. But among this there are 10 or 11 major Upanishads are considered as important. Aadi Sankaracharya chooses these Upanishads to write his commentaries (Bhashyam) on Vedanta. And these Upanishads become the central texts of Vedanta. Intellectual world and Vedanta movement considering these Upanishads are the source texts. These Upanishads are in dualistic fashion, so this philosophy is called Advaita Vedanta.

Among all these major Upanishads, one particular Upanishad is important and it is the smallest one and also regarded as the toughest. And that is called Mandukya Upanishad. There is a saying that “Mumukshunam Vimukthaye mandukyameva alam”, for those who want liberation (Mumukshu), Mandukya Upanishad alone s sufficient.  Only twelve mantras are in this Upandishads. It is found in the Atharva Veda. You are know that there are four Vedas, Riq, Yajur, Sama and Atharva. In Atharva Veda you can find this Upanishad among all Upanishads. It is like a small chilli which is very hot. In this Upanishad, The central text or central mantra is the 7 th mantra. This is the core mantra of entire mantra of Upanishads. This mantra gives the direct and highest possible answer in scriptures of Vedanta. You can see the most sophisticate and most profound answer from this while comparing any of the religious literatures in the world that we come across or at least for me.

Mandukyopanishad was commended upon by Gouda Padacharya, the grant Guru of Sri Sankaracharya. So, Goudapadacharyas disciple was Govindapada and His disciple was Sankara. Goudapadacharya wrote verses for this Upanishad and these verses are known as “Mandukya Karika”. Nowadays you can find this book as Mandukya Karika, which includes Mandukya Upanishads.

As per the system of Bharat philosophy, I will start this subject also with a story. This story is from Ramayana. One day Raja Janaka was asleep, his sentry came and announced soundly, Raja wake up, enemy is attacking our soldiers, So, get up Raja. Janaka woke and took his entire sword in hand and went for the battle ground. After a fierce battle, in which Janaka Raja was defeated. He was wounded, captured by the enemy, dragged in the mud, and taken to enemy king. Then the enemy king said, I have captured your kingdom. I will not kill you, because you are a King. So I will exile you from this kingdome, you get out of this kingdom. This kingdom is now belongs to me. What could poor Janaka Raja do? He was tired, bleeding, hungry, dipressed. Somehow he started walking, and people in his own capital earlier have refused to give him water, because of fear. They know the new king is very cruel; they will be killed, when they helped Janaka. After walking for two days, he crossed his kingdom and he saw that food was served to poor in the neighboring kingdom. Rice or Kichadi was serving there. So he joined that line and when his turn came in that line, the food was finished. He couldn’t think more, he was helpless, tired, and pain. He was standing there without hope. That time one supplier saw his condition and he offered the starch liquid balance in the big bowl. Janaka accepted that starch and took it to his mouth with shivering hands. One kite flying there, dived down and hit the bowl. Kite missed to pick the bowl, and rolled in the ground. Janaka Raja couldn’t take it anymore. Janaka fell down in the ground and cried in misery and sadness. And when he was crying alas, suddenly he heard a voice ”Maharaj, what happened? Maharaj, you shouted, what happened Maharaj? Janaka woke up and suddenly he realized that he is in his bed he was dreaming a nightmare. Nothing happened for him. Janaka naturally had an analytical mind, so he looked up and asked, “Is that dreamed true or this is true? That dream world or this waking world is true?”. It was his sentry standing outside for guarding the Raja. He called the Queen, Queen asked Raja “What happened Raja?” “Is that dreamed true or this is true?” Raja replied.

Next day in the market, all are talking about Rajas incident in secret. That time Ashtavakra Muni came to the market, He was on his way to Place. He heard about Raja and his bad dream. Then he reached the palace quickly. He asked Raja “Janaka Raja! What happened to you? You are such a wonderful, Intelligent King, why are you get confused? Raja repeated the question, “Is that dreamed true or this is true? Ashtavakra Muni saw, Generals, Judges and Ministers are sitting there with their head down. It seems like all work has been stopped, no file is moving. Ashtavakra Muni knows the context of Rajas question and the situation of the palace. He asked Janaka Raja, when you are rolling in the dust with bleeding from wounds, you are tired, hopeless and depressed, in that time all these power, queen, General, Ministers are there or not? Janaka replied “No”, none of them are there. Only defeat, depression, pain, insult, sadness and miseries are there!

Ashtavakra Muni said, now you are in your Place along with your Queen, Ministers, Generals and Judges, power and wealth. Is that defeat, depression and miseries are here? King said “No”, Here I am ok and well. Now Ashtavakra Muni said, Janaka, “neither this is not true nor that”. Today in this situation you are calling it was a dream?, No, like that dream, this power and wealth also is not real. Janaka Raja was shocked and looking Muni in stillness.

Next question Ashtavakra asked was an intelligent and analytical question that is common for all of us. “Raja, in your dream, you felt defeat, pain, miseries isn’t it? Are you there in that dream?”. “ Yes” Janaka said, I was there and felt everything you said”.  May be it is a dream, that experiences may be false, but I have felt it and I was there!. Are you sitting here and experiencing this or not”, Muni asked. Raja said, Yes I am sure I am here.

Ashtavakra Muni came in front of Raja and said, “Neither this is true nor that dream is true, but You, the witness of both situations, You are only true. This is the story I want to tell you as an introductory gesture on my subject. Rest of this reading, we will struggle to understand the concept of “I”, with the help of the 7 th sloka of Mandukya. Meaning of the abouve story and the meaning the mantra are exactly is the same. At least, intellectually we will try to grasp what Upanishad is saying. Whether you are convinced or not, it comes later. Let us try to understand now.  

                                                                  Who I am I?

                              Ego/I/Knower                                            World/Prapancha

                                 Wakwer      ………………………………....       Waking world

                                 Dreamer      …………………………………..     Dreaming World

                                 Sleeper        …………………………………..      Sleep Blankness

                                 Turiya.         …………………………………..      Answer/its I am/it’s You

The primary quest is “I”, the ego. You can call this I/ego as knower also. Now you are the waker also. Janaka raja, when he was awake, all of us are the awake now. And we are in this world, So, this world we experiencing in wake state is called “Jagrat Prapancha”. Pancha represents five elements, Elaboration or mixture of these five elements.  So the waker sees this waking world. Next, Janaka dreamt, or when we dream, He is dreamer, so that is “dream world”. See, we all are going through these worlds in each moment. There is another state called “Sushupti”, where neither Jagrat nor dream exists. Neither we wake nor no dream, deep sleep or dreamless sleep. In dreamless sleep we can be called it as a sleeper. In dreamless sleep, the observer is not there, so we can call it sleep blankness. What Upanishad says is you are not the waker, not the dreamer, not the sleeper; what you are is the fourth one that is called” Turiyam” or Turiya state. Don’t scare about the word Turiya, simply means number four or Chathurtham. In original mantra, it is chaturtham not Turiya. The word Turiya given by Goudapadacharya. This fourth one is explaining by Ashtavakramuni in Janaka Raja’s story. Janaka was suffering in his own kingdom, escaped to neighboring kingdom, all happened in his swapna. So, swapnaprapancha(His miseries) or He(as a dreamer is not real. Likewise his deep sleep and waking world, both are not real. But the Turiya is watching all the three states that he knew and experiencing the three states. In each state, whether it is wake, dream or deep sleep, the fourth state “Turiya is watching, so we know, experiencing, remembering, but Turiya is not participating in all these three states. This is the basic idea of “Chatushpad”, the four states of man. The Upanishad starting with this statement, “Soyam atma Chatushpaad”. It states, You are four aspects, all your life is going through these four aspects. Among these four, three are false, one alone is real.

All these four states are in our subjective point of view, the person going through waking world, he experiencing these worlds and its effects on him. In dream, he is experiencing the dream world as a dreamer. In Deep sleep, he experiencing nothing, his body, his waking world and waker, his dream and dreamer is not there. Even in Deep sleep he is not aware of his body, so, sleep blankness. All these three states are experiencing by his fourth one, Turiya.  Only because of Turiya, A sleeper, after sleep and in waking state says, I slept well. Likewise, a dreamer and waker. This is your own experience, not an objective experience. In your sleep blankness, others can see you, your 80 kg body is lying in a bed, can gear your snoring, but in subjective point, your own experience, You are always goes through any of these three states.

What is Turiya?, Yes we can understand all three states of our life that always we are in! To understand Turiya, take some gold ornaments like bracelet, bangle and a necklace. If a person says all these are nothing but Gold, bracelet, bangle, necklace are only made up of it. The real substance is gold. All these made out from Gold only.

There is an interesting story to clarify this further. Once a Saitji is in want of money. So he decided to pledge his Ganesh statue and get money. He approached another Sait and he weighed the Gnesha and Gnashas Vehicle rat, both are made of Gold. Our Saitji wondered, while the pawn broker estimates the rates of Ganesh and rat. No huge difference he find for both. Saitji asked how you rate a rat with Lord Ganaesha, not much difference. The broker said it is for you Lord Ganesh and rat, for me both are gold. I am weighing the gold and giving you the rate. So Gold is the substance that made as Lord Ganesh and his vehicle rat.  Siatji wondered and somehow he get the money and went away.

If someone still understands the difference, say him, it is just forms and its names and its functions, like bangle, bracelet, necklace etc. But all these made up of Gold, the real substance or reality of all them is gold or made out of gold. Still someone who still did not understand what is gold; he may think that bangle is gold, gold is gone. If somebody melts the bangle, gold will be there and the form of bangle disappears, but that person will say the gold is not there! Then that melted gold can be made as necklace, still the necklace is gold, but one who believes that bangle as gold will say necklace is not gold. He does not understand the new form of gold as necklace is gold. It is the same gold in another form and new name and new function. But the knower only knows this as gold. When we made a bangle out of that necklace again, it is the same gold, but new name, form and function.

So, the idea of “Chatushpad” is the waker, dreamer and sleeper is the functions and states of the reality of Turiya. You are in and through these three states. The idea is that no separate reality called Turiya. It is the same reality, now we are experiencing as a waker, it is the same reality in our dream as dreamer, and as sleep blankness as sleeper. It is the same reality; same person goes through all these three states.

What is the difference in these three? In waking state, we have a physical body and our own actions. We interact with the physical world with our sense organs. So the function of waking state is “Bahishchitta” extroverting the consciousness with the world.

In dream our mind is composing our past experiences throughout the life in to a Kichadi and comes out as dream. Here a dream world constructed out the waking state experiences. But the physical aspect is not participating here; it is purely a mental activity. When we wake up we can realize that the physical body was asleep. Here our consciousness is directed inward- “Antaprajnam”.

In deep sleep or sleep no interpretation of physical or mental happening. Here we feel we slept like a log, we don’t know anything…No physical interferences or dream. Very peaceful sleep I had, we say after a good sleep. Here the activity of consciousness as mass of consciousness, i.e. nothing to illumine for consciousness- “Prajnyanaghanam”. It just remains in blankness. All waking physical and dream experiences are stilled here in a potential state. Because next time we wake up this consciousness will illumine in physical activities. Everything will back again to explore.

Upanishad says all three states are the manifestation of Turiya; three states are only forms and functions of the Turiya, not real, only a present form. Just like the Necklace can be transformed in to a bangle. Necklace will not be thereafter.  Necklace is not a ring, ring is not a bangle, but all are basically nothing but Gold. Necklace goes and bangle made, necklace not thereafter, but gold survives. After waking stage, dream stage comes, the sleep blankness. But waking is not dream or dream is not sleep. In all three states, the stuff or witness of all these states are continued to exist and it is Turiya. It is Turiya says, it is my waking state, my dream and my sleep. This Turiya is the consciousness that working inward, outward and in potential state. Like gold became necklace, this Turiya became Inward consciousness, outward consciousness and as potential consciousness. Outward conscious goes in dream, in dream inward consciousness is illuminating. In sleep inward consciousness not there, it is a potential consciousness. But all are the forms of Turiya. All forms have different functions and characters. The Turiya, the reality is exactly is here now, in waking state, what is added to the Turiyam is the circumstances of physical activities.

Now we are reading this article. But before this we did something else. Next we will drink a coffee or watch TV or go for a walking. All these activities are watching the “I”, the consciousness. The same I remembers my 10 th year old stage, 20 th year activities, 30 th year and now saying the same “I”. After a long time at our older age, the same “I” will observe and say “I” Know such and such things in my life.

Like Bangle, necklace and ring is the gold, apart from its forms and functions, the permanent and continuing thing is gold. Likewise, we goes through the waking, dreaming and sleep states but the consciousness, the Turiya is the all time content or watcher of a being. He always says about his past state like dream or sleep. This Turiya is apart from the waking state, apart from the dreaming state, apart from the sleep and in and yet all of them.  This Turiyam is right now is here, but what is happening is that it is functioning in this waking world.

So the answer for “Who am I” is Turiya. Thuriya is illuminating the waking state that functioning in the physical world, Turiya is illuminating the dream state that functioning in the dream world and It is the same Turiya, that illuminating the sleep state that functions as dynamism of the consciousness to deliver its next cycle, and still untouched by all of them.

Now we will go through the 7 th verse of Mandukyam and discuss the idea with the verse.

“Na anta prajnam na bahirprajnam na ubhayadaprajnam

na prajyanaghanamna prajyam naa aprajyam

 Adrusyam agrahyam avyavaharyam alakshanam

achintyam avyupadesyam ekatmapatyayasaram

Prapacnhopasamam santam shivam

advaitam chaturtamanynesya atma savidyaya.”

Na anta prajna means you are not the dreamer. (Turiyam na antaprajnam)

Na bhahirprajnam- You is not the waker. (Turiyam na bahirprajnam) Here makes the main mistake that our waking state is the real!

Na ubgayadaorajnam means in between consciousness( sleepy or dreamy while sitting and listening)

Na praghyanaghanam, the sleep state ( Turiya na praghyanaghanam)

Na apragyam- Turiya is not a superpower or God itself

Naa apragyam- This Turiya is not useless or dead of Jadda.(Unconcious)

Second verse starts with adrusyam satates that the Turiya is you cannot see, touch, smell etc. It is not an object of our five sense organs. Some time people ask if God exists, why can’t I see?  It is just like Is Big Boson exists, why I can’t see it! It is not Yogya, it is not a object for our normal vision. If there is an ant in my shirt, I can see because it is visible. Hig Boson is not visible for our eyes, it is be understand by mathematical analysis.

Avyavaharyam- It is not within transaction or usable. Physical objects can be touch and see. Turiya is not a physical object to touch and see. But is the source of all transactions.

Agrahyam- it cannot be grasped.

Avyavaharyam- It is not inferable. This is a technical term in Sanskrit. If the road is wet, we can assume there was a rain some times before, assuming by circumstances. Relating the cause and affect.

Achintyam, You cannot think about it. Have you thought about it? Then it is not Turiyam. And you think, because of Turiyam.

Avyuvadesyam- It cannot be named. For example, Sankara goes through a talk; He talked about which areas the languages works and will not work. 1. You can use in a jati- Specious. It can be named. See Cows, many types of cows. We can use the name Cow and with the circumstance we can call same animals are a Cow. So there is no set of Turiyam, no Jati or specious like Turiyam.

2. Gunam. Example color of a flower or a stone

3. Function- Driver, Cook etc. With their function we call a cook (Sankara used the word cook)

4. Sambanda- Relation-Teacher. We call a person as Teacher, because that term is related to student and education. And Father. Here we cannot relate Turiya with anything in this world.

Rudhi, Conention…A person called Saranya, why? Because her parents named ger as Radhika, that’s all. Likewise Prakasha or Hari or whatever. In this manner we cannot name Turiya. Because to name we have to point out one. Here we cannot point out Turiya.

So, language cannot operate in the case of Turiyam. Existence of all worlds denied here, whether it is waking physical or dreaming or sleep.

In the third part of the 7 th verse, explains what is Turiyam.

Ekatma pratyayasaram- Eka- one, Atma-I, Pratyaya- the cognition, the feeling of I ness, Saram- the essence. If you follow this I feeling you can reach Turiyam. This was asked by ASHTAVAKRA Muni to Janaka Raja. The I is in and through these three states like Gold is in and through the ornaments.

Then “Prapchopasamam” A state that untouched by the sorrows and pains of the waking, dreaming and sleep states.

Santam- Full of joy, No word to describe you. Shivam- Anantaswaroopam. Advaitam- Non duel. Why? Because nothing apart from Turiya. All three universes, like Waking, Dreaming and sleep universes are not Turiya, or no Two; so advaitam.

In other words, Upanishad declares “Atme vedam sarvam” I am the universe. If you the waking world, then the waker is you. Likewise a dreamer and sleeper. After waking from dream we say, all are mental activities. The you in us watches he dream and now in waking world says it was my mental activity. You are one with your dream, so you are one with you!

Last part of the verse- Chaturtam anyante- People think it is the fourth. Which people? Manyante- foolish people. So the fourth one is not there. The fourth one is shining through these three- Waker, dreamer and sleeper. We are analyzing all these three states in waking world and there is no fourth reality. The reality is the ‘I’ passing and functioning and analyzing all three states. This I is not a fourth one, but it is the I one and through all these states. The fourth is illuminating through all three.  We think it is the fourth reality, actually it is functioning through all three, but all the three are false and Turiya is the only reality. In gold example it appears sometime as ring, sometimes as bangle. But actually it is gold.

And finally it says “Sa atma”- that Turiya is atma. Atma literally means I, its me! Atma doesn’t mean God or Paramatma, Just You. So, the answer for who am I is it’s you, the I or Atma. It further says, “Sa vigyeyaha”- it’s you to understand, not by reading, studying or discussing, but by analyzing. Not only study in a class, reading in book, but making it a living reality.

Swami Vivekananda said, he who runs away from the world to meditate and die in the Himalayan caves,(searching the God) He has missed the way. He who plunges in the luxuries of the world, he has missed them. Then what is the way? The way is to defy the world- Spiritualize the everyday’s life. That’s what swami Vivekananda says.  Now with this background we understand what he means. It is the pure consciousness, which you are appearing as a waker now, but the same thing which in all beings, same thing which appears in all material world, and therefore the spiritual reality that “I am” that all in you all over the world. In that sense we are one with the world- spiritualization of the world. Upanishad says, “Isavasyamidam sarvam”- God in all beings!, this is the most profound and most sophisticated way to looking at it. Vivekananda says, if you throwing away all – three states and searching for God, you miss the way. In ring and bangle example, if you avoid bangle and ring and searching for Gold, you miss the way. If you grasp the waking world and hold it, you can feel that I am this one; again you are missing the way. Because the waker will become sick and old, the waking state is continuously changing by its own course.

We always experience our self as conscious being. The experience also as result of our consciousness. So our very nature is to be consciousness. You never be unconsciousness or never be in experience of unconsciousness. If you were unconscious, you come out and say, at that time I am unconscious. But in unconsciousness, you don’t experience any unconsciousness. So you are always experiencing your soul as consciousness as a conscious being. A light is a good example of consciousness, why? It illumines. Darkness is opposite to consciousness. We are lays in search of happiness to avoid unhappiness. Therefore certain thing which makes us happy, we see it as good. Certain things that makes us unhappy, we say it as bad. Thing around is not bad, but the effect on us makes us happy and bad.

Here, the self we have discovered here- Turiya, is beyond happiness and unhappiness. All happiness and unhappiness is a result of its effect on waking world and dreaming world.